“The future stands firm… but we move about in infinite space.” ~Rilke
written April 14, 2010
Dear Fellow Seeker,
Truth Is…
We are unable to see, feel, or be in the midst of the expanse we know we are, yet we fight to find it, we fight to be there. Preventing the very prospect we most long for – to accept and be where we are. We create a bounty for our fleshed soles which binds us to the earth, while we walk in solitude amongst the millions of other lonely souls. Sinking into the abyss of samsara, the cycle of repetition and rebirth. If only we would listen to and remember the song of our soul and to speak the journey of our quest.
Instead, we allow our suffering to grasp at our heart strings and sink its vicious and tantalizing nails into our bare, raw, and naked flesh. We crave this feeling, this sense of realness, something our science can inform as truth. We cannot accept nature as we know it from deep within because we are captured and enslaved by our violent history, distrust, and mental conditioning.
Our memory has made us thieves to our birthright. We are captive to our story. The story we create and recreate each day. The one that says “I am” and witnesses the vicious play of our mind, the rapture of our contempt, the fear in our non-action and the selfishness in our reaction. We are puppets to the evolution of a man-made human nature. Acting as if we are isolated – a solitary thorn on the stem of a rose – we think that what others feel and express is different than our own – contrary to what we feel and tell ourselves – a threat to our inner discovery and awakening. It takes many thorns to protect a rose from its predators.
We believe we are separate from “them” when “they” are our own inner destiny, our own plight to growth and freedom. “They” are the children of our soul (our memory), the very thoughts, ideas, fears, and fantasies that lead us forward into the dark night, into the shadows where revelation strikes and our phoenix emerging is exposed. Yet we remain oblivious, ignorant in our knowing, looking around for approval, too afraid to take flight. We mask our freedom in the face of others. We hide behind the bars of denial and judgment. We are unable to accept the travesty of our awakening, the expanse of our hell, and the eternal bliss of pure presence – of being here, now.
We run up and down the field of thoughts playing a game with ourselves, competing against the will of our mind and kicking the ball of illusion, maneuvering through a maze of discontent and self-destruction. Our opponent being the Truth we are unwilling to confront as we outwit ourselves tackling the enemy of hate and anger with the force of a thunderous reactive wave. This wave of emotion we think is reality, but alas, it is the egocentricity of self. Not the Self of the highest mind, but self-guided by a false god, reaching outward – toward – blaming others for that which we are at fault ourselves. We fear to stand in our own pool of discontent, to wade in our longing, and swim in our apathy – in this play of our desires we’ve chosen to express without being consciously aware.
Our spirits have capsized and we struggle to stay afloat on these waves of emotions as we gather our wits to re-board. The time is now – that we stop explaining “reality” and refrain from self-soothing in the name of “truth”, a mechanism that feeds our self-worth, justifies our actions, quells our doubts and perpetuates our fears. When will we stop closing the door on our dreams, our hopes and our wishes that long to be fulfilled? Life does not refuse us anything, but rather, we refuse life when we do not accept the pastures that lay before us – when we refuse to walk on the path we have chosen.
We can bid farewell or change our course, but it must be done consciously and whole heartedly. Otherwise, we exist in denial of what we’ve chosen to repress, like a weed rising to the surface at the most inopportune time, as we unveil the brilliant garden of our efforts and a lifetime of sacrifice, the weed will shock us and rise to our surprise. At that moment, especially, we can choose to enter the gates of illumination through acceptance (hearing the bells of freedom that ring so clearly in our thoughts) we can choose to be where Truth Is. Knowing is knowledge while being is wisdom. Knowing serves our ego while being serves Truth.
We subjectify reality becoming slaves to our creations, discounting an objective and authentic Truth, thus negating Being and although Truth is not subjective our perceptions attempt to convince us otherwise. Do we truly need an explanation for everything? Can the known and unknown be Truth enough?
We fail to see and acknowledge, what we know and have always known – we are the Self-Existent One. Within each and every one of us, eternity lies. And, in that eternity we drink the Divine nectar of other (the only true mirror of our soul) where all that is meaningful resides within, hitherto. Even so, with numbing trepidation we walk, becoming statues of the inevitable cross of destiny we so proudly bare. And yet, we are frozen in our denial, beholding death as an ultimate end to life (egocentric and self-fulfilling) with our ignorance begetting a forgotten tale that with every death there is a birth. A cycle unto itself…without beginning and without end… it carries on…as a resurrection…from the ashes the phoenix will rise. The illusion is an idea that permanence exists in Truth.
Is not the song of life, the one you keep hidden in the treasure chest of hope? The sacred voice that only the walls of your inner flesh have heard…that echoes in chambers of all that is sacred…the living rhythmic instrument, that is you. The vibration that pulses to the beat of life and is orchestrated to perfection across the planet and through the universe. Each note you strum on the instrument of your being becomes a composition as it unites with others and with life. This is your contribution – your gift to the whole, your purpose, and your duty. You are essential, you are the missing key, join the band of the living and play your song, live and be in Truth – accept nothing less and be nothing more.
Truth is not “I”, Truth “Is”…resting (being) as the copula between passive and active, yet dependent on both, linking dynamic and static. It is subtle, between space – out of and in time – it is Divine and it is living in You! A rhythm that carries on…perpetually…timeless…ever present. Truth cannot be sought, found, seized, created, manipulated, or overstated…it simply Is.
Your’s Truly,
elaina